"Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within the reach of every hand."
Dec. 9th, 2007
05:04 am - Quote
St. Augustine said: "Love God and do what you want."
Nov. 29th, 2007
11:59 pm - -
A few days ago I woke up and the first thing that entered my mind was that I should get out my bible and read it. Wierd eh? I don't know what it means...
I wonder if God loves me even though I am a lesbian? I hope so... I try my hardest to be a good person and follow the good values that the bible sets out even though I haven't read the whole thing ever.
I want to make the world better and help people such as the visible minorities. How can I not get into heaven for that? Even if I don't my soul will just move on and I will be re-born until I accomplish my purpose. I don't believe in hell or the devil I think it's just a story to scare children into being good!
Anyways does my sexual orientation really matter?? What matters is being a good person and having a personal relationship with God that is unique to you. Why does anything else matter??
I'll try and focus on that from now on!
My response to a note that was left:
I am wondering if homosexuality is actually meant to be same as heterosexuality. Maybe homosexuality is Gods way of keeping the number of humans at a decent number so that there was no over-crowding of the Earth? (I'm talking before all this technology was invented). Do you think that could be a possiblility? Maybe both were meant to co-exist in harmony? I just have a hard time believe that God would not bless and love the LGBT community because God is all about loving everyone, even the unfortunate people, and even people who do wrongs no matter how the severity. It just doesn't make sense to me... Maybe humanity made that up? or interpreted whatever was said in the bible wrong? or maybe it's just humanities fear of the unknown and change merged with religion that people find it hard to handle? What do you think?
11:55 pm - -
I've been thinking a lot lately about beliefs and religion and spirituality and atheism and everything inbetween.
Over the years I've found myself fluctuating a lot. Christianity, Buddhism, Earth based Spiritual, Agnosticism, Wicca, Paganism, Scientology, Atheism, etc. I still can't settle myself on the subject.
Through all this searching and experimenting I find I have been internally conflicted by religion in general.
I have always had these conflicting thoughts butt heads in my brain all the time.
God/a higher power is for those people who are too afraid to face the fact that we are alone. That we are simply made up of different particles. There is no purpose to our existence whatsoever. God/a higher power is simply human made. One of the first humans wondered why and how they were placed on Earth, so they said "oh a higher being must have done it let's worship that." Beliefs, feelings, God/a higher power are all human made fantasies. Believing in God/a higher power is no different then claiming the reality of Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny. People are simply too scared to face the fact that they do not have something to take care of them.
But, I am no exception to this...
At the same time I want to believe in God. I want to trust that my feelings of a higher power are real. I want to believe in a God that loves everyone including LGBT individuals. I want to believe in a soul and that our souls will continue to move from being to being until we accomplish what we were set out to do and then proceed into heaven. I want to feel safe and comforted just like all those people whom I consider weak.
I'm no different then anyone. I seek comfort and refuge and then the two above thoughts battle each other endlessly and I can't decide which way to go.
Is it ok to live life worshipping God/a higher power?
Is it ok to think that way knowing it may not exist in the end?
Is it more damaging to believe or not believe??
If God/a higher power isn't real is it ok to still believe it even though you may be living a lie? Even if it still brings joy and comfort to your life??
I don't have the answers to these questions or others. I have no clue which way to go.
So, I have decided to stop trying to choose. I've decided to let it be. Let it stay unanswered.
I feel content in not knowing. I don't need to know right now. I don't need to know at this stage of my life.
The answer will come to me when it is supposed too, I guess...